Song Name: Amar Jivana
Author: Bhaktivinoda Thakura
Book Name: Saranagati (Section: Dainya Song 4)
āmāra jīvana, sadā pāpe rata,
nāhiko puṇyera leṣa
parere udvega, diyāchi ye koto,
diyāchi jīvere kleśa
nija sukha lāgi’, pāpe nāhi ḍori,
para-sukhe duḥkhī, sadā mithya-bhāṣī,
āśeṣa kāmanā, hṛdi mājhe mora,
mada-matta sadā, viṣaye mohita,
nidrālasya hata, sukārye virata,
akārye udyogī āmi
pratiṣṭha lāgiyā, śāṭhya-ācaraṇa,
lobha-hata sadā kāmī
e heno durjana, saj-jana-varjita,
nānā duḥkhe jara jara
bārdhakye ekhona, upāya-vihīna,
tā’te dīna akiñcana
bhakativinoda, prabhura caraṇe,
kore duḥkha nivedana
1) I am an impious sinner and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.
2) I have never hesitated to perform sinful act for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for me.
3) The material desires within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy and egotism are the ornaments I wear.
4) Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always lustful.
5) A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person, devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by various miseries.
6) Now in old age, deprived of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.